Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
