Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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