Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize