Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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