Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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