i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize