walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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