It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
