i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
