It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
