I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
not ubering you a puppy
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
