I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
