yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
