She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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