Dude my mom stole all your condoms
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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