I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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