Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
