it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
