I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize
