I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
