Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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