defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
