speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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