I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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