did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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