watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
