you have to choose: penises or morals?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The Olympian is in my bed
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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