She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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