You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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