i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
