I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
