Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My penis needs a shock collar
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Randomize
