Midget sex pt 2 tonight
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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