bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
