Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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