Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
