Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
