You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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