In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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