You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize