Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
