This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
