Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
