like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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