I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
