yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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