When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize