He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
