I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize