fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
