I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
