meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Randomize
