billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize