there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
