Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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