I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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