Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
