And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize