omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
