Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
