have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
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