Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
