Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Randomize
