if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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