dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Shame - the story of my life.
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