Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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