Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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