There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
