whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
