I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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