I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
