That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
