Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
