Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
