We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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